Baby Ted is a peculiar baby and a member of the Eldritch Street Untouchables. His only appearance is in a deleted scene of The Conference of the Birds found at the end of an exclusive edition of The Desolations of Devil's Acre.[1]
Deleted scene[]
After Jacob Portman tells the Untouchables he doesn't find them disgusting, Sludge the warthog girl and Hattie the Halfsie take him and Noor Pradesh to Ted and his nanny, Nanny Flo. Nanny Flo complains that Ted won't eat his motor oil dinner and has been naughty all day, and the baby proceeds to take a bite out of his (third that week) crib before spitting it across the room. Hattie advises the nanny to feed Ted synthetic oil diluted in a little antifreeze for that night, as Ted gets tired of the same thing day after day.
Description[]
Appearance[]
He has big round eyes and a topknot of cornsilk hair, and despite looking only passingly like a baby, Jacob thinks he is cute from the mouth up. His teeth are sharp and spiky, and his mouth and hands are smeared with dark, sticky oil.
Peculiarity[]
Ted lives on a diet of 10W-40 motor oil, being part machine.